sometimes when you get upset by really big things, you need the really small things in life to cheer you up.

ok i know this isn't the most informed update or anything, but 太王四神记 is showing on tv once again! channel 8, sundays 1pm-3pm. (not that my sis doesn't have the dvd though but whatever) i know it may be corny or cliche or all that but still, if i can derive some enjoyment from watching it then what's not to like! plus, the person playing the character xiuzhini in the show totally rocks. just like sohee from WG, albeit in a different way i guess. omg and i just went to google and i found her name: Lee Ji-ah. In chinese its 李智雅. even the name looks awesome, its like combination of wit and grace. wicked. i like her getup in the show, especially the longhair one. damnnnn awesome.

ok DID I JUST START FANBOYING. stop. (at least publicly XD)
point is, it's an awesome show so what are you waiting for? guys have lee ji-ah and the girls have bae yong jun. both genders are happy no?

npcc has really gotten alot busier. out of school venture's just kickstarted and the committee's gonna get into a whole load of intensive planning over the next few weeks. i'm not sure how i will be able to fork out enough time to be a good supervisor and contributor as the weeks go by frankly. there're just so many things to do...

and i realise that being a leader is one thing, and training others to be leaders is a totally different story. but i stand by what i say, that passion and sincere interest is what will take you the furthest in whatever you do. coupled with the little book on leadership that i got myself weeks ago, it should do nicely =)

i think i'm beginning to get the hang of what a CI should do. like what joseph said, we are in charge of leadership and nco training. ncos are the ones who train cadets (for the most part anyway). because technically once you've got the ncos right the cadets' standards should follow. of course, in reality nothing ever goes 100% according to plan, but as a general guideline they still hold don't they? it's one of the most fulfilling things one can do i think, grooming others to become true blue leaders (not that i'm one myself now but oh well i'm working towards that!) and teach them how to, quoting the book, ratify their positions in the people's hearts and minds. what a flowery phrase haha. but i suppose it achieves the linguistic impact on the reader and that's the whole point huh.

i know i sounded (and was) super pissed off at the sec4s for their little stunt on friday. but then, there isn't any point getting angry over them. if i should be doing anything at all it should be focusing my efforts (and even transforming my anger) into the initiative that the sec3s will be taking on. and i really hope to see more individuals shine through with their personalities. those few that have already shown me that you are ready, push on further and you will go on to do great things, i'm sure of it =)
all part of leadership training. it's never just about leadership, i always like to lump it with teaching them how to be a person. maybe it's just me, but i think that aspect is so important for anyone and everyone.

totally spent close to 3 hours searching for and listening to music (mainly by westlife) yesterday. i'm a real bum, wasting my saturday like that at home. and people will definitely call that no-life or whatever. but the songs are nice so that should be what matters! the right music fills you up no matter how empty you are, even if just momentarily.

it's weird to say this, but i'm actually growing a fair addiction to feeling the kind of emptiness and "pain", shall we call it (for lack of a better word to express it), in me. and emo music naturally does the job of surfacing those emotions well. it sounds almost stupid, but really, i've grown accustomed and familiar, even welcoming, to those feelings. all part of the growing up process, i would reckon? but i'm wrong alot of times so ah well. making mistakes isn't all that bad for a change either. get it wrong quick and you won't get it wrong anymore in future (when presumably the consequences of making wrong decisions are way greater).

i realise that i've got in quite a few posts in the last couple days. i think i shall stop restricting the kind of thing that i want to put up here (meaning emotional stuff only, or just random daily excitements and the like). let this place be as close to the real me as it can get, or as i allow it to be. there are definitely considerations to be mindful of, but then again it shouldn't stop the place from being natural.
such a long post again...when i start sometimes i can't stop. like i just added on a couple paragraphs since i just thought of it. makes me recall a nice quote that i wanna share here (some words changed as i have poor memory and cannot recall it word for word):
"life is like driving a car. people are eager to stop you when you have not started, but once you start no one will dare to get in your way."
and just a really random comment here, my lingustic ability today in this post seems to have gone up a notch. but it will probably dip back down in the next post anyway. =/

won't talk more, its 5minutes to 2am. will get to bed before attempting to mug as much as i can (admist the countless distractions) tomorrow, and may my determiniation persevere.

another song to end it off again! do enjoy =)


If I Let You Go - Westlife


Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find

The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before

And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

[chorus]
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? (oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go?

Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you)
You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
It's such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

[chorus]
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? (oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go ?

If I let you go ooooh baby
Ooooooooohhhhh

Once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
Ooooooooohhhhh

[chorus]
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
(close to me)
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
(oh yeah)
How will I know
(if I let you go?)
But if I let you go I will never know
(oh baby)
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
(oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go ?