quite a long absence here huh. oh well. life is always busy.

today's pw meeting was pretty productive. we really got together to sort out the ideas for our WR parts. and actually i've always felt that this is the way to do things - coming together and looking at it, instead of "you do this you do this then by 2359 on saturday night send to me". misconceptions and stuff are not identified till its a little late, and of course it feels so distant from each other, working behind the silly block of technology known as the computer.

you know, i suddenly got this feeling that pw is ending all too fast. it's only been about 18 weeks since we first got into our pw group, and yet we're already in the midst of completing our WR, which is due in 11 days.
if you ask me it all seems much too soon. like we only just got off well (in my opinion at least) and suddenly it dawns on you that it'll end about just as abruptly as it started. which frankly, is something i will come to miss and possibly regret. my group is really great actually. these couple days have allowed me to believe that, even though i honestly had doubts about them in the past. and even if we're always suanning each other and randoming totally (mostly the girls though), it's been quite the fun experience. maybe i should seize the chance and make every OP rehearsal a rehearse + playeat session. its after promos and i heard they're specially cancelling lessons for rehearsal (about 1-2weeks), so yup sounds good. =)

i think i'm rather glad that i got the chance to be the group leader of this group. its not everyday that you get to lead a group for so many months, and definitely not everyday that you come across a group as awesome as this. since you know just one person who you can't get along with is enough to spoil things.
though there are some bad sides to being the leader. among them, getting bullied (as in the always get suanned and stuff for being the work delegator kind), having to face direct confrontations with teachers if anything goes amiss, and the extra responsibility to ensure the group is moving in the right direction have all not been easy to cope with. nah, i don't actually think that a proper leader has an easy time at all. sure he can possibly enjoy the process because he loves the people and the task, but even so the extra things that he or she has to weigh on his shoulders shouldn't be underestimated. but well, pressure does help one to succeed and surpass one's expectation of oneself, as time has proved so for my case. ok i think my thoughts are getting really convoluted so to put it simply, it's been hard being leader but, i appreciate the job!

apparently i haven't really been keeping my promises where academics are concerned. i'm pretty much still lagging behind in tutorials, not understanding the notes and concepts enough, bla bla. and it only gets more scary when you think that, less than 10 weeks from now, promos will come and go. if you think about it carefully, it's a REALLY short time. especially when you factor in the time spent on cca, pw and whatever other stuff you have in your life. and you don't have a june holidays to save you either. what's gonna happen? to be honest i shuddered slightly at the thought. h3 and scholarships and stuff really depend on this promos, so i can't afford to screwup at all.
speaking of which, chinese o levels are coming up too. i seriously have no confidence for this. its so difficult to keep the determination to do chinese, and even though i love to speak in chinese (though few others do so i lack sparring partners), it doesn't seem enough. if i screw this up again i will really hate myself, but at the same time i have the uncanny feeling that history will repeat itself and i will just be tossing 50bucks into the sea, along with all the time that i spent sitting in chinese class and doing chinese homework. damn, can the world just stop being so concerned with whether you're getting an A or B or C. start looking at real world capabilities and interpersonal skills already.
hmph, and people aren't really gonna becoming very much closer as the promos draw nearer. because then people will get so caught up in mugging and no one will really want to just sit around in the canteen to talk and random in the afternoons. which is quite a sad thought really. and this is gonna continue for like next year too, where almost all the time j2s are facing big tests. my god, why is jc life so sad.

hmm. something to note for myself i guess; yitian and kejia say that my intonation when speaking sometimes is weird and even difficult to comprehend. and that sometimes i sort of mumble (omg nooo). ugh. but well, i'd rather they let me know, since then i can actually do something about it. positive criticism if you will huh. oh and by the way, if any of you out there DO share similar thoughts you could just let me know via msn or something too. would appreciate (as long as they are SINCERE comments that is. not something that you tell me just because you were too bo liao on msn)

went to heartland mall yesterday since i was feeling bored XD and saw this really cool book so i bought it. its called "blink". well i shan't bother to elaborate (if you are really THAT interested to know you could always ask me about it personally), but it's been a interesting and fulfilling read (even though i've only gone through around 20 pages). wow, i'm surprised i can even say that "i read". i mean like i dont like fiction and generally have a phobia of books to some extent since most of them are so boring. i remember i only read books on animals and scientific life and stuff. and i have really weird (not to mention random) genre tastes. bleh whatever.

i think i've got hooked on a little to ending off my posts with songs, so here is one =) ah, how well it describes what i've felt.


如果把你的眼神默背好

就可以无视寂寞的悬崖
我想，我不会像现在这么糟
如果把走过的路都记牢

就可以面对断线的依靠
至少，孤单不用如此的骄傲
不止热雨的微笑

增加跟脑海的湿掉
抓不紧，也放不掉
未来的某个街角是否转身就找得到

爱是一种需要，却不一定要得到
只要你觉得快乐就好
梦会温热眼角，让回忆像水草般缠绕
却总能让人勇敢不笑

爱是一种需要，聚散却没办法预料
只能在心里做个记号
直到哪天遇到，还会是同样的味道
下雨也好驱风也好 心想着就能不会难熬