music therapy is really good.
it just gives you a good feeling. can't put it to words though.
found a new song, insomnia. thanks kenneth haha (in a way, since you had it on your blog).

actually, i have no idea what i'm doing with my life right now. it pretty much seems like on whole mess. you know like if you just randomly start doodling on a page, at the end of maybe 30seconds that would be a pretty good representation of how i feel about my own life now. its like totally in bits everywhere, and there isn't any clear direction as to where all this is headed. or perhaps there wasn't a direction to begin with.

i always tell myself that i'm gonna do something, and in the end i hardly ever do. what the hell is wrong with me. you know, i really hate myself sometimes for blatantly piling up problems and torturing myself over possibly unnecessary things. and sometimes what is the point of even worrying or obsessing about these things. its not as if they help, and even if they do, the trade off is hardly worth it.
makes me recall what nigel said today. that relationships are like shopping. hmm. maybe.

everything happens for a reason.

maybe i'm just tired. you know when you sleep, you don't have to think about anything and just sleep. maybe that's my little escapade from all these things which are just weighing me down and leaving my breathless. its a wonder why i haven't cracked yet huh.

i don't think i can take much more of all this. i hate this.