friends.

i just thought about this topic suddenly and had a urge to say something about it, so here it is.

i think i don't have to elaboarate on what "friends" refer to. they're known for being able to share your laughter, joy, sorrow, tears and whatnot, and it's pretty much true for anyone out there.

but sometimes, i think i set very high expectations for my friends. by this i mean true friends, whom i can talk freely to about anything and everything. i hate people who are dishonest, superficial, fake, saying one thing but meaning another, show-off, materialistic, overly concerned with appearance, irritating, the list goes on. but i'm really no angel myself, so who am i to say that all these things necessarily make someone an undesirable friend? well, maybe personally it would be alright, but i can't really judge similary for another person. different people have different perspectives, and they may be able to see another side of the person that i can't. and i'd just have to accept it!

but we should treasure what few true close friends that we have. i'm really glad to have met some of these awesome people over the past few years, and somehow, you find that in times of difficulty and uncertainty, you fall back on your old friends.
i remember that i read in one issue of RINSPIRE last year that when people go to RJC, initially many will go all out to make friends (usually of the opposite gender). but slowly though surely, we'd start to go back to our original circle of friends anyway. because those are the ones who've truely been there for you, who know you through and through, and will not mind lending a ear after school or over msn to just let you vomit out all your deepest thoughts. and they are the ones who're really concerned, who you would still keep in touch with over msn (since it's really impossible to talk to everyone in your contact list like once every few days, unless you are that free and can stay online for 10hours a day), who you would stop and talk to for quite a while yet over lunch, and maybe even just go out and chill somewhere if you happen to bump into each other after lessons.
now that's what i call real friendship. it's not the needless act of coming together after school to hang out and do something crazy (although close friends can do that too, but this is hardly all to it), or just money and presents, or just the endless teasing and joking and crapping. it's much, much more.
to that end, i really hope that i can be as great a friend as i envision myself to be. it's really hard to be a good friend (contrary to popular belief), and i think i've realised for myself that sometimes i'm just not being sensitive or concerned enough. i've neglected to care for some of those that i really do care for over the months as well. i don't want to realise the loss only when our ties, possibly already strained, finally break off entirely and we no longer even say the simplest "hi" to each other when we meet along the corridor or somewhere in the school grounds. it's a really really sad thing to happen, not only because these friendship ties, once broken, are very hard to rejoin, but also that you were fully able to do something about it but didn't, and left it to its own devices eventually ending up in breakup. all those things about being in different classes, different ccas, different schools, busy schedules, no time, too tired even; leading different lives to sum it up, are excuses. if you are really as good friends as you claim, these things will never stop you from keeping those ties as strong as ever if not stronger than ever.
at this point i recall what eugene had sent me via sms a few weeks back, and i think it's really really meaningful.

Friendship.
How does it break?
Both friends will think the other is busy and will not contact each other thinking it might be disturbing to the other party. As time passes, both friends will think "let the other one contact me first..."
After some time, each will think "why should i contact first?"
Finally, the memory becomes weak due to the lack of contact.
And we forget each other.

I don't want our friendship to end this way, which is why I'm sending this to say, friendships are like gold. Without polishing, it becomes dull. Whereas if you take care of it, it'll shine like the brightest star =)
Send this to all your friends you treasure and love, including me if I'm one of them to convey this message: I love you, keep in touch!

it may be a very simple, very plain sms, but i think that just makes it all the more sincere and one can really feel the stirring in his or her heart. the kind of guilt maybe, that surfaces because you realise that that's what you've been doing all this while, to some of the friends that you never really wanted to neglect but yet still did it all the same. maintaining a friendship isn't just about asking "how are you" or just planning group outings and then having a fun time every blue moon or something. it's the little things in your everyday life and activities and the little things that you do to show your care and concern that make friendship what it is in the first place.

i really hope that at the end of my jc life, i'd done all that i can to make the lives of those around me whom i treasure dearly and sincerely better, even if just a bit better. and if you out there have read until here, do make a start and be more concerned about those around you. we definitely don't want the phrase "we only realise what we cherish the most when we lose them" to come true here. let us all do what we can, share what we know, be there whenever we can, because they are our friends.
and because friendship is just about giving unconditionally.
(and i do feel so much better letting this out of my chest now)