time for another long post! IMBAA

well, actually if i were to talk about everything that i have in mind right now it may well go to 5k plus words...yes, there's that much that i can say.

shall start with the important ones first i guess...


wednesday was unit hierachy briefing for sec3s. honestly even till now i'm pretty hesistant and unsure of how this incoming batch of leaders will turn out. but then again thats exactly how my whole initiative came about - to make sure that they will in time to come be good leaders and lead the unit to greater heights, hopefully.
was kinda surprised that they did not have that many questions to ask during q&a, thought i would be bombarded like crazy. maybe they were just abit too stunned due to such short notice or something.

and as i had gave my two cents' worth on the entire application process, i thought back about how my journey in npcc has been like for the sec3-sec4 period. even though i had falled short of my desired post (which, frankly, was sec3 head), truth be told being sec1 nco wasnt bad. in fact it was an equally if not more enriching, fulfilling and satisfying experience. and what i told the sec3s as well was that, even if i could turn the clock back and for some reason i would be able to get the ccal post if i wanted to, i wouldnt. i would still choose the good old nco posts. nco fits me the best in my opinion, and no amount of testimonial benefits will change that fact. nco all the way! i've always thought that, out of all the posts in the entire hierachy, an nco post is the most noble, demanding but yet fulfilling one. nothing else comes close to it man, ever.

to reflect further, the nco process really pushed me out of my comfort zone quite abit. previously i was far more introverted, and like what i told the sec3s i never envisioned myself or thought it possible at all that i could stand in front of a squad of almost 30 rowdy immature and mischievous cadets and give them instructions, drills and commands. but yet i was surprisingly able to rise up to the occassion and can proudly stand here today telling people that i am a CI. really something of a personal achievement for me.

i liked how danish and idris came forward to speak to me individually, and voiced out their opinions or concerns about the application. i treasure these individuals for who they are because they know what they want, have put serious thought into it and are truly concerned about very pertinent issues, and because of that i'll do my best to help them find their answers, even though some of these issues are quite a tough nut to crack even for my standards. well, all i can say is keep up the good work boys (i mean guys, i dont want to sound paedophilic zz) =)

econs makeup test on thursday was just gg. we were informed one day before that the test was due, and i reached home at 7+ that day. spent 1.5hours half dozing off + looking through notes, and another 2 hours looking at tutorial sample answers and realising that i could make no sense out of them. all in all, a gg paper. if i even get above batch average (heard its 8/25 zomg) i'd clap or something. dont even talk about passing haha, unrealistic. oh and if i lose to sharon i said i will kill myself, since she spent 10minutes + 1 freeblock in school to study while i spent about 4 hours in total...of course, quality of the mugging session matters but ah whatever. i better not end up killing myself cos of this...so diu lian heh.

and throughout the past week i've done more comprehensions than i can count. ok, technically its just one GP and one chi 2-hour exam paper. but i realised that many times these passages teach you alot of interesting and provocative things about life that we might otherwise have neglected through the hectic-ness of our life.

things like the only way to achieve true success in life is to find your voice and passion, just seem so true. and this links back to the npcc application thing again (why am i linking everything to npcc now huh); go for something that you have a inner calling for, something that you feel for. and that's probably the only way to be truly successful - to love what you do and do what you love (ok wait do they mean exactly the same thing...?). to that end, i feel that i've done the right thing by being an nco and continuing on in JC as a CI. never regretted it, and will never too.

another thing was probably having integrity. one example brought up in the passage was scientists and how they do research; do they sometimes fake certain experimental results just to ensure that there are no dubious anomalous results, or do they reveal it without shame and then face the music/consequences?

living with integrity really is hard. i cant say that i do it all the time, but i do try as much as i can and whenever i can to keep the integrity within me, even if it may mean sounding or looking silly, stupid, or out of the ordinary/norm. something like discipline too, doing what is right, and not what is easy; the phrase sounds so simple but being able to stick to this principle is ever so challenging. i think someone who can say that they've done this is really someone worthy of admiration.

moving on to more interesting stuff, i realised (or rather further confirmed) that i like to sing! ok i know i dont have any killer voice or anything close to that even. but who cares, singing is a personal thing =) people who dont like my singing can just shut off their ears to it or something...haha still remember how kenneth got influenced by me during the free period and then we started singing like crazy (not together of course, different songs). but then again it gets super paiseh if everyone is staring at you. so i still find it best to do in private, or when the person(s) around you dont really mind your mediocre singing skills, haha. a pity is that often i cant really catch the lyrics so i end up blabbing random notes or words hmph. and i cant find a way to input lyrics into my phone (i heard only iphone and some other phone can do it), so its quite annoying..

i realised that kenneth is quite a fun individual to talk to. as in you know it when you can click with someone la, there's just that connection of sorts that you can feel. haha, he's just as lame as me if not more, and we both enjoy gossip XD (eh eh dont get the wrong idea or anything here...)

of course talking about that, i must mention how i'm quite a lame king myself too. and just to comment, being lame really requires a kind of innate talent...there are some people who just dont have the lame genes la, so to speak. being able to understand lameness and generating lameness are 2 different things haha. and i am both, (un)fortunately =D

oh and this week's been quite good for me...got alot of time spent together =)

hmm i'm reaching the end of this post...
just wondering if readers may think i'm schizo or something like that; in the sense that i may seem a completely different person here. but just to assure you that i am still uh, myself and i dont go into schizo state online or something. its just that i tend to voice out things here that i dont normally do in real life. hence the stark contrast, i guess.


i tried to get you off my mind, but i realised i just can't. you occupy every second of my thoughts, i wonder what i'd do without you.