sometimes, i'm just afraid of having regrets.

i just found out today that my grandma has an inflammation of the urinary tract (or something along those lines, i'm not good at translating medical terms from chinese to english). it was a casual remark by her but i was disgusted at myself for not knowing (and probably not ever knowing if she hadn't said so). it may not be cancer or something that desperately terminal, but i fear that it's a sign of worse things to come. whatever the case, it's bad enough that you get pains when you go to the toliet. i could really feel the suffering inside me then.

i thought about my friends too. how many times have i let the chance slip, to have a heartfelt talk with them or to voice out some of my sincere concerns for them and what they're facing in their lives? merely because of this stupid thing called peer pressure, which never should have existed in the first place. it ruins society. i really just want to show that i care but society makes it that much harder to do a presumably easy thing.

in the end, we all should learn to live well. why does it matter whether someone treated you well or badly before? the past is past, and the present is now. you see those shows where the dying (or soon-to-be) patients can finally reconcile the differences with their loved or close ones and untie the 心结 in their hearts? why are we always waiting until things are too late to be salvaged before we come to a sudden realisation? you won't always get second chances at things. do what we can now, help those that we can help now; because tomorrow, you may not be around or you may no longer be able to do those things anymore. do whatever your heart wills you to; more often than not it's the right thing. cherish those whom you treasure and those who treasure you, for every second and minute you get to spend with them is a blessing in itself.

sorry this is so melancholic, especially on the first day of CNY, but this is me for you.


---

Save You - Simple Plan

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (oh)