something to share:

"Losing and Gaining Our Lives

The great paradox of life is that those who lose their lives will gain them. This paradox becomes visible in very ordinary situations. If we cling to our friends, we may lose them, but when we are nonpossessive in our relationships, we will make many friends. When fame is what we seek and desire, it often vanishes as soon as we acquire it, but when we have no need to be known, we might be remembered long after our deaths. When we want to be in the center, we easily end up on the margins, but when we are free enough to be wherever we must be, we find ourselves often in the center.

Giving away our lives for others is the greatest of all human arts. This will gain us our lives."


i think one of the greatest pleasures i could get (since i can't accurately speak for everyone) is to have people tell me that they learnt something from what i write. not necessarily that they enjoyed it (in the more light hearted sense), but if i make even any provocative impact then it's been a meaningful piece.
maybe that's why i'm into personal development and all. i get people giving me the "you're weird" look when i'm spotted with books of the genre, but ah, i guess if i cave in to society's "norms" all so easily i wouldn't be the person i am today. i admit that there are many times where i do give in and end up not adhering to my deepest principles, but in life there are balances and equilibrium everywhere. go think about it if you aren't convinced.

i have this (somewhat random) postulation that this would be an incredibly difficult interview question:
"describe the toughest dilemma of your life."
difficult yes, but it delves right into the depths of one's soul to find out what one is really made of.
interviewing people is an art, really. it isn't just throwing random funny questions at people and then at the end just dishing a haphazard judgement of the guy.

i realised, or more like reinforced to myself that i can't stand superficiality. i think i might be disgusted if i looked back at the oldest entries in this place which represent the immature me from secondary school.

it feels pretty empty, not having npcc for one whole week. i have not thought about when i would stop attending training. i could stop right here and now, but i won't. frankly, i want to be there till the end, and watch the sec 3s (the one batch i watched grow up) rise up to take over the helm of leadership. deep down there's some internal struggle over paying no heed to academics and just going all the way, but the logical side of me tells me to study or i'll just die really badly. i haven't got an answer to this dilemma yet and i reckon now isn't quite the time to make the decision either. i suppose my heart has already decided what to do long ago; time will reveal what that decision is then.
wah, looks like i'm way more emotional than i thought (and also than what people think of me).

this post is super disjointed, but guess what sometimes randomness works. something that "new thinking for the new millenium" taught me.

and productivity today was pathetic. i've only done GP homework so far? and that was what, 3 questions. ASL storyboard isn't done, and neither has studying for chem spa, physics test and econs test started. i need to constantly remind myself that i'm not alone, but even that can become quite an uphill task sometimes.
but hey, even faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains (and this is applicable to so many areas of my life). so what's stopping me?

before i get myself out of here, another song by JJ Lin. he's probably my favourite singer.

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林俊杰 - 冻结

不小心回到那一天 不小心一切又重演
你如此完美的一切 竟会出现在我的世界

你说话不爱说第二遍 但偏在情人节那一夜
给我你心爱的项链 说了三次对我的爱恋

我那时糊涂 不明白为何你会哭
后知后觉以后 领悟

冻结那时间 冻结初遇那一天
冻结那爱恋 冻结吻你那瞬间
我也会疲倦
你的项链 在我身边 带我穿梭回从前

冻结那空间 冻结有你的世界
冻结那画面 冻结不让它溶解
我若是疲倦
你的项链 在我身边 发光在我胸前
你的项链 在我身边 陪伴著我过每一天