it's another of those long posts that people abhor, oh well.

to be fair to the subject, econs is not all crap and plain hard stuff to score for. if we look hard that stuff's pretty applicable to other things too. the prerequisites for demand are the ability and willingness to pay for the good or service; is that really so different from doing anything else in life? if we can but don't want to do something then what's the point, and if we want to but can't do something then that's just so sad. i think it's heartening to know that we are not simply trying to understand a bunch of words and graphs, but that we are understanding life itself.

over the past week i have realised something: we are all vulnerable. it doesn't matter what religion we adopt, what we claim we're made of, whatever. the point is that we ARE vulnerable and can be hurt easily. we do care about what others say about or think of us. and we may be able to comfort ourselves or feel a little bit better afterwards but we can and do remember the hurt dealt to us, at least in some way or other. but it's understandable because after all none of us is God and as long as we still hold on to this human heart of ours, we will inevitably get hurt. even C S Lewis says that to love is to allow yourself to get hurt.

i think alot of people do not stop to consider what "the last" means for them.
just on monday, i probably went to haw par villa for one of the last few times in my life. i should do haw par villa justice; even though i am not a personal big fan of the place (as in i won't go OMGGGG over it), it does seem as though the place always has something new to offer, something new that i've not noticed on previous visits.
that day my ASL group was filming each of our favourite parts and initially i couldn't even come up with one, because i didn't feel particularly strongly for anything there. then when i walked past the 8 immortals statues kejia/yitian asked if i could say anything about it. and actually i could. it brought back alot of my childhood memories about watching tv, and of course watching 8 immortals on channel 8 and always eagerly anticipating those scenes with he xiangu inside (that was when i was small alright!). i'm a little angry with myself that such things i realised only so late, and only after so many visits to the place.
sometimes we let things slip by us too easily.

and like what i told the sec3s (on monday as well incidentally), that day would probably be the last training we'd actually have with them, and pretty much there won't be anymore for the rest of the unit as well. well...so this is it? ...sometimes you just run out of things to say. maybe just knowing is enough.

i think "silence" can be classified into 2 types - the awkward, and the blissful/serene ones. well practically everyone knows what the first kind is like but i believe not everyone is aware of/treasures the value of the second. you know, it would be totally wonderful if 2 people can just hang out together but they don't have to keep talking to each other. just walk. or just sit and feel the world around them together. that's really nice.

we can never seem to do enough. i really need to devote more attention to spending quiet time. if this is really my first priority like it should be, then i've not been doing things right for a long time. admittance is the first step to change and i pray that things will go uphill from here. slowly does it i suppose.

i think i need to curb the habit of watching too much tv and sleeping too much. oh add to that, slacking too much. sigh.