back to blogging?

guess i should start with some sort of explanation for my super prolonged absence from this place.

in short, jc life's been hectic enough, and a real big jump from sec sch.

but i've decided that i will turn this place into an emoing ground.
ok, maybe not that extreme, but i guess i will just use this place to say stuff that i would want to say normally but don't actually say. although i must admit, i've gotten abit of a blogging phobia; say anything insulting about anyone and you're screwed. it's extremely difficult to keep that in mind while trying to be as open as possible in your posts, but i'm giving it a try anyway.

lastly, i think it won't really matter to me now whether people read this or not. in fact it might be better if no one does since then this will really become private. and the point is not to get readers/tags/whatever, but just an avenue for me to get stuff out. keeping everything in can kill you know.


yea yea yea moving on

i think its way too hard to summarise 2 months' worth of stuff in one post. so i shall just talk about the more relevant/impactful things.

start with 10s06n. well, it's a seriously great class (i mean really), we're smart but yet not till the point of muggertoads. victor might feel sad if he read this but oh well. and i think we have a relatively good mix of personalities, and the class synergy is pretty good! i'm getting to warm up more to people whom i was more strange/foreign to in the past, which is a good thing.

entre. well it's been a very different experience from npcc, which should be expected, but whatever. i suppose finding the joy in entre will be a whole new task or challenge altogether, especially when you only have about 3 months to do so. guess i should just let nature take its course.

npcc. what i can say is that life as a CI has been pretty eventful as well as fulfilling thus far, what with the successful implementation of the nco training course, which i feel was seriously a big achievement, considering the planning and executing comm was made up of only 2 people.
however, there are still things that need to be fixed.
UOPA bronze. i've seen rinpcc gone from gold to silver, and now, sadly, bronze. and rest assured that i do feel a certain heartache when i say this. it's not just about what other ccas think of us, its more of what we have done. this degeneration must stop, seriously.

npcc camp. i think it was one of the biggest steps i've taken in terms of speaking out and really voicing my own opinions. 2 debriefs and tons of lectures have hopefully made the sec4s know me better, and that i didnt just come back to the unit "for fun", for lack of a better phrase. seeing the cadets again, getting to interact with them (even though its vastly different from interacting with rjc people) and modelling them to become the leaders and people that you want them to be are very simple things, but yet it is ever so satisfying. it is amazing, really. i'm really grateful for the opportunity to come back, even though i have to sacrifice so much time that i could have spent on homework/with rjc people. its definitely worth it.

i've believed that in coming back, i can make some sort of a change to the unit for the better. like what i told my sec4s, miracles dont just drop down from the sky for you; you have to be the miracle. and though it may sound or seem naive, thats what i truly believe in and that is why i am back in rinpcc, despite popular opinion or belief that it is pointless to even consider npcc in jc. but i don't believe in simply following the crowd for the sake of it.

work. the academic syllabus has not been easy to follow, and i think i'm actually struggling to cope. i think failing the maths assignment and the physics class test should be enough proof and a clear enough sign that i'm really not working hard enough or as hard as i should be. this brings me to the point about cca commitment; am i going to do so much for my ccas that i waste away my academics? even though its only jc1, i cant imagine how i would survive if i'm not able to even master the basic concepts taught now.

and i am so sleepy every single day. take today for example, i came back at 6 but actually succumbed to sleep from 6+ to 8+. i'm not sure if its just me, that theres something seriously wrong with me, but this needs to be changed, and fast.

oh and i really really like emo/love songs now. dont ask me why because i will just say that i dont know. but i feel that they are so very appealing.

how i long for someone to share all these with.